I fell as if everything has come to a complete halt. Here I am living this life apart from my husband. I'm living mine and he is living his. We are no longer moving forward together. We were suppose to be moving forward in our lives together. I find that his personal belongings are being removed more and more everyday from this house. I've taken over the bathroom and the bed room. I did however hang his robe on the linen closet door in the hallway just to have something of him hanging around. It's weird because when I make choices I find myself not including what he would say or do. It's getting tougher and tougher he is no longer around not even his smell. I wish he were here to see through our children's eyes like I am able to. They are growing up so fast and learning so many things that he will never be able to see. I'm breaking down slowly and I feel as if there is no one out there who understands. I have great friends around here however I can't expect them to understand what it feels like to go to bed every night by themselves and wake up to nothing, but dreams. I think of the day he comes back and I run it through my head, what will he look like, will the kids remember who he is, will I. How can we ever get back what we've lost by not being around each other for such a long period. How can you love someone so much so far away. Below are some things I keep around my house for inspiration. I hope the provide some for all the military moms and dads out there.
April
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2 comments:
Before my husband left for Iraq, I was surprised to see that he packed all his clothing in a chest so it wouldn't get dusty.
Hang in there for your hubby. It is hard on all of us. It is hard on him also. You guys get through this, this will make you stronger and more committed to each other.
I have been through many trails in my life, and when you are at the end, and believe me this will end, you will look back and say, we did it, we are still standing, this did not defeat us.
Iraq will be a distant memory someday, believe me. I have alot of distant memories.
This is the hardest journey I have ever been on.
God Bless you and yours...Cathy...Spc Dan's mom
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