My life is at a stand still

I fell as if everything has come to a complete halt. Here I am living this life apart from my husband. I'm living mine and he is living his. We are no longer moving forward together. We were suppose to be moving forward in our lives together. I find that his personal belongings are being removed more and more everyday from this house. I've taken over the bathroom and the bed room. I did however hang his robe on the linen closet door in the hallway just to have something of him hanging around. It's weird because when I make choices I find myself not including what he would say or do. It's getting tougher and tougher he is no longer around not even his smell. I wish he were here to see through our children's eyes like I am able to. They are growing up so fast and learning so many things that he will never be able to see. I'm breaking down slowly and I feel as if there is no one out there who understands. I have great friends around here however I can't expect them to understand what it feels like to go to bed every night by themselves and wake up to nothing, but dreams. I think of the day he comes back and I run it through my head, what will he look like, will the kids remember who he is, will I. How can we ever get back what we've lost by not being around each other for such a long period. How can you love someone so much so far away. Below are some things I keep around my house for inspiration. I hope the provide some for all the military moms and dads out there.

April

For all you moms and dads out there 

Curtis as a baby 

Alex and her first waterfall. 

A reminder for all of us to slow down every now and then 

Taylor Anne 

YEAH ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm so proud of myself I balanced our AC yesterday, with a little help from my Father-in-law. I'm not a Mrs. Fix it by all means, I think someone was looking out for me when I met my husband, because he is Mr. Fix it. Every time my kids break a toy I'll say I can't fix it, it's broke we're going to have to throw it away they say no daddy can fix it, and he does. (we have a box of toys waiting for him when he comes back), however with him being gone I've had to take over the role and your talking about person who makes five holes in a wall even though I only need two(a good day would be three holes). So instead of going outside in some skimpy little outfit and asking some man to help me :) JK, I've decided to start figuring things out on my own. Yeah I still put a few more holes in the wall then necessary and it may take me and hour or so to do a ten minute project, but I'm doing it, I'm becoming more independent. Don't get me wrong the day my husband comes back I'll conveniently lose all my self taught knowledge(ha ha) and he'll most likely redo some of the stuff I've done.
I find myself starting think like my husband also, for example instead of using some kitchen utensil, I actually go to the garage and find the right tool for the job. Who knew that they made tools for different jobs, and that my husband has everyone of them, who knew that a tool belt wasn't some accessory that looks cute when worn with a pair of jeans. All in all I'm starting to get the hang wearing the pants around here, that still doesn't mean I won't put a skirt on every now and then(if you know what I mean) ha ha :) joking. I wonder how a tool belt would look with a skirt?

April

I'm soooooooooo tired

Hello all,I've posted some new pics down below,

We've been so busy with school coming to an end. My oldest daughter will be graduating Pre school and be in kindergarten next year. My sister came and visited for a week, she was a big help. My husband is doing good. He has been traveling a lot. The one thing I really hate about him being deployed is not being able to get a hold of him if I have a emergency I feel so helpless in that aspect. I also hate mowing the lawn. I don't mind doing the work it is good exercise however finding the time to do it is hard with three kids I normally have to do it when they're sleeping however it is so hot @ 2 or 3 o'clock. I thought about getting up early and doing it but then the grass is still wet. Oh well It got it done yesterday I was lucky the clouds came rolling in and it started to rain a little. I however didn't have enough time to weed eat I hate doing that I can never do it right(you think with 4 years of active duty Army under my belt I would be an expert) I either get to close or not close enough. My poor vehicles have not had a wash (except for the rain) since my husband has left (God don't tell him that) I figure one day I'll take it to the drive in car wash and get it done. I feel like everything is falling apart with my house there are a few odds and ends that need to be done. Like the screen being replaced one of the rain spouts need to be replaced things like that. However I don't stress too much, as long as the bills are paid and the kids are happy and healthy and fed, I'm happy. I know there are a lot of people out there who if they saw my house right now would freak it's not dirty just messy toys everywhere things out of place the yard needs some work, at least I'm able to pay someone to come in every two weeks to clean the down stairs. Well I better stop my complaining for now. I a very fortunate person to have what we have. There are others who are less fortunate.Until next timeApril

My Alexandra 

my goofy Curtis 

Taylor Anne  

recent pic of my babies 

ARMED FORCES DAY

Today is armed forces day. Please take some time out of your day, today to remember the ones that has sacrificed everything for your freedom and pray for their families. Also remember the ones that are still serving continuing to protect your freedom.


April

New photos

As you can see I've added some new photos of the kids. We have been very busy around here. With one kid getting sick after another. We have been hearing from my husband and everything is going as good as to be expected with him. I miss him more and more everyday. My oldest daughter has decided to do cheerleading for the football asso. They have here in Culpeper. We signed her up last night. She seems to be excited. I am to I think she will like this better than soccer. My sister is coming up on the 28th yeah, maybe I can get my deck stained and sealed while she's here (as if I know what I'm doing.) I'm currently taking a college class to top things off. School is almost out and then I really will go crazy (as if I wasn't all ready there.) Our neighborhood is turning out to Wisteria lane for those of you that watch. I haven't has to deal with this type of situation. Living overseas everybody pretty much minds there own business. My husband and I are the type of people who don't like to get involved, however with him gone and no one to keep me company I find myself being pulled further and further in. Also being a stay at home mom you get to see and hear a lot of things. I just found out that the reserve unit here in culpeper has been deployed to Iraq. They will be in charge of training new officers for the Iraqi Army. If everyone could please keep them in your thought and prayers. We all know that is can be a dangerous job. Well my son is the one sick this week so I better go check on him. I hope everyone is doing well. Thanks for all the support out there. Also for all you military wife bloggers out there check out this website. http://skatoolaki.com/rose/grouphugs/index.htm

April Pierce

Alex on her new bike 

More of Alex at her birthday party 

Alex at her birthday party 

my youngest daughter Taylor anne 

My son Curtis 

My oldest daughter after having her ears pierced.